Serenity

On a dark and dreary night
A worker had gone unnoticed
Drizzles of rain drew beads onto the spring lawn around her
As beams of headlights peered upon the highway nearby

Reflections on the highway telling of upcoming vehicles
Whistles as it zooms by and every now and then
A voice can be heard
A cigarette will be lit and this Saturday night remains dim

In between breaks of carbonous exhales
A cloud of smoke drawn circles linger overhead
A calmness engulfed upon this persons thoughts
Visions of memories replayed fresh like it had only happened yesterday

In a rush, moments of hurried winds shuffled, tormenting the trees around her
A cold chill ravaged her skin as she dreaded the call of Autumn
Thoughts became boggled as this too, will soon be a memory
With a rush and a wink, some other worker will be in this very moment

What wonders and kindness might that person feel, are we all the same?
Will that person feel the emotions and the bitterness of these chilly nights?
Will the sprinkles from above lay calmly upon their mind?
Or will it zoom by so quickly like no wonder at all?

Its all an assumption. Taking for granted tomorrow. Merely a second thought.

Dreamer

I had a wonderful visit the other day...
all in a dream

I dreamt up reality...
of what a visit would be

Although it was in my mind...
I know it was real

To dream up this dream within a dream...
Awaking with a grip and a hug I'll always feel

Thanks for blessing me with an open-mind and for filling my heart with love...
All in appreciation, knowledge, and respect for God above

Lonely Words

Rest Peacefully PaPa Bennie
June 23, 1924-June 9, 2009

Its always nice to step outside
Relax, take a breath, and clear your mind
Yesterday, I took a moment to step aside
I relaxed, took a breath, and did eventually clear my mind

First, I stared across the road passed the newly blossomed lilac trees
Grandma wouldve loved to see them this time of year
They looked like many soldiers guarding her home during a perfect little breeze
My eyes were reminders of how many things we now lack, mainly out of fear

Her home was once a sanctuary, where we all loved to be
Now its just a memory of where Grandma and Uncle used to live
I miss them both so much but they live inside of me
My heart was once angry they had to leave but now allows me to forgive

As my heart began to heal from the hurt of our recent losses
Papa Bennie was called home only 3 short months later
As hard as it is to be strong--in my mind--nothing can top this
The couldves and shouldves layed deep on my heart like a crater

Its hard to act differently than what you actually feel
Ive met that fork in the road you see
I walked and I stepped right on it reminding me thats its all real
Sometimes it hurts and reeks havoc upon me

Then, like a collage of unspoken words and pictures of many reels
The sun peaked out for a second to show me light
Reminding me theyre safe with God and to feel how good their energy feels
This was truly a blessed heavenly sight

I walked a little further, sat and allowed the day to come to an end
I cannot stop time or prevent events, but I can ask for a moment to seize
To hold those moments and find peace and harmony allowing God in as a friend
I always have and I always will-keep my heart full and at ease

Black Elk Speaks

You have noticed that everything an Indian does is in a circle, and that is because the Power of the World always works in circles, and everything and everything tries to be round.
In the old days all our power came to us from the sacred hoop of the nation and so long as the hoop was unbroken the people flourished.
The flowering tree was the living center of the hoop, and the circle of the four quarters nourished it.
The east gave peace and light, the south gave warmth, the west gave rain and the northwith its cold and mighty wind gave strength and endurance. This knowledge came to us from the outer world with our religion.
Everything the power of the world does is done in a circle.
The sky is round and I have heard that the earth is round like a ball and so are all the stars.
The wind, in its greatest power, whirls.
Birds make their nests in circles, for theirs is the same religion as ours.
The sun comes forth and goes down again in a circle.
The moon does the same and both are round. Even the seasons form a great circle in their changing and always come back again to where they were.
The life of a man is a circle from childhood to childhood, and so it is in everything where power moves.
Our teepees were round like the nests of birds, and these were always set in a circle, the nation's hoop, a nest of many nests, where the Great Spirit meant for us to hatch our children.

Black Elk, Holy Man of the Oglala Sioux 1863-1950



Over a hundred years ago Black Elk had a vision of the time when Indian people would heal from the devastating effectsof European migration. In his vision the Sacred Hoop which had been broken, would be mended in seven generations.The children born into this decade will be the seventh generation.

My Grams

Everyone thought it was just old age how easily she forgot

Little things became a heavy burden of a task
Grandma just couldnt remember the things that she once taught
Frustration became the response to questions many people would ask

At ten o'clock on Sundays, as church would begin
Grandma only wanted to be able to attend
When rides became far and few, to her it was a sin
Not only was her church her savior, but everyone was a friend

It became harder on me you see
Running from the stress and unusual behavior of this disease
The hurt I felt when Grandma could no longer recognize me
The most easiest going woman became the hardest to please

Every now and then I think of how she mustve felt
I wonder what she thought and if she were all alone
In a world she no longer knew; in a church she no longer knelt
From the back of a pew, in the back of her mind, was there still a harp like tone

Six months before my Grandma's passing
I never imagined to have to handle such a sight but now he's set free
Uncle was called to Heaven little did we know this wasnt the last thing
To endure so much and lose the man that meant so much to me

Ive learned that life is far shorter than I once thought
These days are taken for granted, in a place so full of panic
Refuge is supposed to be what I've heard only refugees have sought
There is this personal war so widespread, leading many helplessly manic

Sometimes...

Sometimes...knowing is never enough
Wonder surrounds and may consume us
Trying our best to get over the tough
Believing in yourself and God is an everyday plus

Without my beliefs there is just no way
No way for me to have gotten this far
Through love and prayer I try to live by each day
And every night I see those I miss sparkling through each star

Its like a hello from a far away place
Distant reminders of a goal to be reached for
When I look above its dreams I chase
Before I sleep my mind prepares for "just one more"

Sometimes...we just have to...
Do the best with what we've got...
When we fail--"we just do"...
Thats life--we do our best with what we've been taught

The Love of Two Brothers

(this is a poem i wrote for a friend of mine whose brother had just been involved in a near-fatal car accident. his family felt trapped at the hospital they were forced to know for many long months after the accident. the brother survived, but does have some issues.).............

The love two brothers hold is unbearable and true
You are there for each other and its shown upon you
Each tear shed from your questionable eyes
Shows me more than painful cries
The cries for help you continually shout
For the love of a brother you can't live without
The fears you are going through is one I can't describe
But I am hear for you always its shown by my vibe
There will never be a day that you both wont appreciate
Having each other around...its more than just fate
You both see the miracles growing from inside a tiny room
A room that seems oh so little but filled with God's doom
I wish I can tell you how much I care
I will do my best I could to always be there

2003.

One of Those Nights

It's hard to hold back what I already know
To shelter these feelings that constantly grow
I miss you more than anyone can imagine
I think of those years and what could have been

This loneliness taunts me when I look back at certain places
My heart it holds strong to your memory which it embraces
I picture you now with that smile and heart of gold
If I can hold you now I would do it without having to be told

"Come here my little niece give your Uncle a hug" you would say...
I'd smile as I would happily...happily go your way
It was as if I were the only one to be centered on this earth
You made me feel so special-you've done so since my birth

Your absence leaves me silent and my mind yet filled with love
The silence isn't always bad when I think of God above
I know you're with us now and then
You let it be known and I thank you as much as I can

I may be the one who gets lonely
But I'm not alone you see
I'm carrying on your memory
Like you would want it to be

Jibber Jabber

Distance can be gained not only physically but through ones mind. How vast are the areas of which it opens new realms. Newer levels to explore and greater feats to overcome. Entangled through the vines of many twists, turns, and picks. Choices to take and bravery to entertain our lifes many misunderstandable obstacles. Motionless as it turns in only the directions you allow. The spineless characters of mistrust and misfortunes leaves a jello interior to a hard knocked exterior. For some instance when the twisting endlessly whales what must one do?

The Colors of Her Heart

She laughed as she sang an unfortunate song
Only few people knew she'd been singing it all along
Like grains of sand it stayed etched in her heart
The people who cared once tried to tear it all apart

Anxiously, she would wake each day only to find
The days just got longer and heavily weighed on her mind
One morning she awoke to find her sun was not yet there
She searched endlessly, hoping she would find her light somewhere

The moon's nighttime smile beemed on her for a short while
Like a script it were written on a page of life she had no choice but to file
The nights became longer as well as the days
She could only discover her heart pounded so many different ways

Where would the light be and how can it be found
She found it today as she lifted her head and slowly looked around
Through her friends she found that glimmer of light that she had hoped for
Through her family she gained insight to all of that and so much more

The time she wasted looking everywhere but near
Its shallow of her to have sank too low, torchered by one single tear
Thankfully she never gave up...she fought till the end
Only to find there was a circle of which allowed her heart to mend

Never ending was this circle...this circle never could stop
Now she climbs mountains and only rests at the top
Through her past she layed the memories down
So noone else would find them...so noone else would frown

Carefully as she aged she watched over that very spot
She was the keeper of the grounds that once kept her distraught

She paid no mind to those that curiously walked the land
While journeying, she cared for everyone right from the start
She found her light by following footsteps in the sand
The sand is what gave color to her once faded heart